The Guilt of the Stay at Home Mom

A lot of people have heard about how working moms feel guilty. They feel guilty for leaving their child(ren) in daycare or with a sitter. They feel guilty because the can't be "room mothers". They feel guilty for many reasons, but no one ever talks about or hears about the guilt of the stay at home mom.

As you know, I am a stay at home for now mom. Off and on, I have felt guilty for one reason or another. Now, I have pretty much found my place and am happy and guilt-free in it! Prior to obtaining this guilt-free feeling, I did have some issues with the idea of staying home full time.

I struggled with the idea of not going to work in the morning and instead sleeping in until my daughter wakes up. I felt like I wasn't being productive simply because I didn't wake up at my pre-baby wake up time of 5:30 or 6:00 am, get dressed, do my make-up and hair, shove some toast and fruit in my bag and jump in the car. Even though, I was getting up with Baby sometimes every hour at night, I felt guilty that I didn't get up at this specific time and do these specific things. At times, I felt guilty that my husband had to wake up and go through his morning routine alone; simply because I was too exhausted to move. (Note: My husband has never said or did anything to make me feel guilty about not getting up with him.) All of this guilt came from deep inside of myself.

I have also felt guilty because my husband is now the sole provider for our family. (Do we make enough money to survive, pay our bills, and take care of all of our needs? Yes. Do we splurge now as much as we did when we were both working? No.) I felt guilty, because now we stop and think for a second before going out to eat or buying this random thing we want.

Lastly, I felt guilty when I simply don't have the time or energy to clean up the house or cook dinner. That's just how it goes sometimes when Baby is cranky and will not be put down. (I have been told about the wonders of the baby carrier. Yes, I have one. Sometimes Baby just won't have being placed in it.)

After speaking to other stay at home moms, I've realized we all feel this guilt. Some not for the same reason, but we feel it too. Here's to the stay at home moms letting go of their guilt! They are doing great things for their husbands and children and should not feel guilty for it!

Until next time,

Rachel